dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
they're like a gay fantastic four
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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