I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
