you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
