ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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