I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
