What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
