i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
