I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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