I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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