I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
