who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize