I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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