one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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