cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
