make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
