Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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