You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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