elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
