I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish you could order shots online.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
