did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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