He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
