ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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