Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
