TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
