Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
