he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
