Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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