i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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