What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
