Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
