So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
