she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
