im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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