he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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