people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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