So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
