my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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