it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
