I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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