My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
