Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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