This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize