The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
