Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
