somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
did i just pee glitter
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
