I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
