I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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