can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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