I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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