He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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