Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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