Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
