IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
