the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
