D3 body, D1 cock
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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