we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
did i just pee glitter
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
