There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize