i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize