He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You made out with two different species that night
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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