That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
