you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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