i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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