Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
