he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
